You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
