My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
