so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
