i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
