do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
