therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize