Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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