all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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