Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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