I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
