I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
