get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
