idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
