did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
