I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
