I need help removing her.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
