I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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