I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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