It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
