I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
