are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize