Rock
Scissors
Fuck
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
ttyl tear gas
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
