he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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