no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize