bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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