I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
