So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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