the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
