i would punch a child for taco bell
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
