I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
