Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
