Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
