you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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