you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
