I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
