Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We just shotgunned beers for America
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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