The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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