Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
