is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
