im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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