just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
