Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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