she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
