We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
