I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
