I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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