u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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