dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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