THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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