Umm I'm too high to move.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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