the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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