Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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