I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
