I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
