So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
