a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
