Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
