I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
