It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
