ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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