You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
