We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
