since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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