what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
