Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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