Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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